Well now aint that a bitch

So as you may have guessed I have been feeling a tad sorry for myself of late, oh boo-hoo poor me and all that jazz. Well I'm fluctuating today for a couple of reasons, firstly and can I hear a little whoop whoop because guess who's got a second interview at the hospital....yes.....me....... YAY!!!

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However, both my previous employers have dilly dallied in forwarding my references which has not reflected that well but the hospital say that they can see something in me which they like (not sure I like the sound of that, but I suppose do - a bit at least - its just quite ,you know, a disturbing turn of phrase) anyway so YAY for me - there are three other candidates being called back for second interviews so I know that there's still a high probability that I wont be offered the position but hey it shows I interviewed OK even if I did bomb in the tests!

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Now here comes the fluctuation. My ex husband who is actually still legally my husband (grrrr for the slow divorce process by the way) has informed me that he can't afford maintenance such as I have been receiving up to this point (no surprise there) and that he is moving in with girlfriend number three who he has been dating since the beginning of August.

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Now I can't help it, this makes me feel sorry for myself, not because I want him back - definitely point blank NO WAY to that one, but because I do not even have a man shaped blip on my radar and it doesn't matter how often I tell myself that when I am finally with that special someone it will be a far worthier, healthier relationship but hell, I can't help being a little envious. Not of their relationship but any relationship, I feel like I should be showing him I'm wanted by a wonderful man and not turning into a withered up old prune.

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I feel a little sorry for girlfriend number three though, by all accounts she's actually a nice girl, its a shame her boyfriend continues to pester me for sex, the last excuse was that he needed closure on our relationship (he left me by the way so where does he get off asking me for closure) and this morning he was asking me if I still wanted him to kiss my neck - personally I'd rather a pot bellied pig poo'd on my foot than have that sleaze bag who has become the clone of my absent father touch me ever again, eeeew.

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Oh well he can't pretend to be something he's not forever and who am I to stand in the way of what could well be true love, someday, maybe , for them.

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Guess what, I have a second interview so up yours weasel boy!!