So the New Year cometh

Wow! I am one lucky girl. I actually did get some stuff from my wish list which is pretty fabulous. I got some perfume (Hugo Femme - thanks mum!) and I got 5 books which I have pretty much devoured as I have read 4 of them already - but hey it was like someone gave a glass of water to someone who hadn't had a drink for a week - I couldn't help myself. Not to mention that the Twilight Saga was just such a good and easy read I had to continue till there was nothing left and I may re-read them very soon. I took my sister to the cinema on Boxing Day to watch Twilight the movie, probably not the best thing to do the day after reading the first two books but hey it was still enjoyable. I'm one of those people that, whilst I love the movies am always a little disappointed with how much of the detail in the writing has to be dropped to make a film but still very enjoyable. A little question for any of you who may have read the book and watched the movie, do you feel Edward should have glistened more in the sun? Oh well I still enjoyed it - in fact I loved it I just preferred the book. My imagination does a lot more with the information in a book than can be possible in a movie.

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My brother who at 4 years older than me went through every obsession I had before he left home got me some of the most fantastic DVD's ever. The Blues Brothers (shake a tail feather baby), Red Sonja (Oh Yeah) and the movie that ignited a passion for the world of myth legend and fantasy now don't laugh..............Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the original) fabulous!!!!

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Life is as hectic as ever which is great I don't have to go back to work until January 5th which is way too long yet when I'm back will not feel like long enough at all. If this sounds a little messy then i apologise - I am suffering from verbal diarrhea and you are getting the brunt of it. Like I said...Sorry.

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I also had a phone call yesterday, my best friend is pregnant - its fab news she is so excited bless her, I am keeping everything i possess crossed because its really really early days and none of us are oblivious to all the things that can happen. I feel all excited, its a bit like I'm becoming an auntie!

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So what are you up to for New Years? I haven't decided yet, little man is with his dad (urg - I hate it but lil man comes first and foremost and if Peter Pan wannabe feels like he can cope then who am I to stand in the way of a relationship being forged) Anyway, what I was saying was that little man is with his dad and Ive been invited to a party at a friends house. I have said no because I don't like the thought that my mum and sister will be sat in the lounge watching the countdown on TV alone, especially after they've helped me so much this year. Sooooooo we are contemplating going out - doing something a little different, Trafalgar square sounds good to me.

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Anyway I am going to go now and probably wont get a chance to write until new year so, sorry for the babble, Have a great new years eve, kiss someone special at midnight and I will be wishing you all lots of fabulous things for 2009 xxx

Well Hello Stranger

So I have nothing wrapped, very little bought for little man compared to what my mum has got for him and I feel totally inadequate, my kid has taken to telling me he doesn't want a nasty mummy and wants a new mummy (I promise I am not nasty to him but to a four year old when mummy says no chocolate for breakfast or some such then I am a nasty mummy). He is now sharing a room with me at my mothers which quite frankly was cute at first but after urinating on my back three times in his sleep is no longer cute but rather bloody tiresome (particularly as he has barely if ever, wet the bed before..grrrrr) but all of that considered we have been doing well.

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I am still working, the Christmas party last weekend was fabulous and I had no hangover, although I suppose the effects of the extraordinarily large quantities of Vodka REDBULL that I drank are only just starting to wear off. The only thing to rain on my parade is the upcoming first anniversary of 'I just don't love you the way a husband should'. A week and 3 days to be precise. It's scary. Nearly a whole year. Sometimes I look in the mirror and its like I'm watching a film of a girl who's looking in the mirror. Surreal.

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We have had a few bumps all living together but its not too bad. When I need space I stick my headphones in turn the volume up on my iPod and blast some Good Charlotte or Boyzone (hmmm yes I think the word you're looking for is eclectic not weird!).

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The highlight of my week has been the Christmas card I got from my fabulous Brother and his equally fabulous lady which was hand drawn and rather classily depicted a robot Santa saying HO HO HO. Just perfect for me and little man and exactly what I'd expect from those two crazy kids living the dream in America.

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If I make a single resolution for next year it will be to life my life in such a way that makes me and those that love me proud.

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Oh and I'm doing driving lessons so it's all good. Now below is a little Christmas wish list for you to peruse, for no reason other than I haven't written a list for years and had an urge to do so!

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1) A little 2 bed house with garden somewhere by the coast down South

2) The one

3) To pass my driving test

4) To start a degree

5) A red Nintendo DS

6) A Personal Trainer

7) Some Socks

8) Some Perfume (preferably Hugo Woman/Hugo Femme)

9) A puppy

10) Some books

11) Some music

12) An unlimited gift card for Simply Be/Evans and Long Tall Sally

13) A passport and holiday for me and sproglet

14) Some DVD'S

15) A nice treat

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So not much hahaha well - they are just wishes!! We can wish for and dream whatever we like can't we, that's the whole point of them!

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Merry Christmas all, I hope your Christmas is full of laughter love and scrumpled wrapping paper and that the New year brings you all lots of health, wealth, love and happiness. Take Care xxx

tis the season to be jolly

I don't read the newspapers, or watch the news on TV, why? because I'm being ignorant? because it helps me not take responsibility for actively participating in the world at large? Maybe it's a little of both but there is also another reason. I just get too bloody sad. You see I believe that fundamentally all people think and feel the same way that I do (clearly they don't) and when I hear some of the awful things that happen in the world its like a little death. Not in the real sense of the word but figuratively speaking. A little bit of my faith in human nature gets worn down and you want to stop believing in the good just in case. So I try not to read too many of the stories and I try not too watch too much of the coverage of the terrible things that go on in the world today because while I know that life is not all butterflies and daisy's and doesn't always smell of roses I have to save a little faith, for the people I love when they run out, for myself when I walk blindly into the future and people don't always let you down.

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Strangers help pick up your shopping when you drop it, or hold the door open when you can't do it yourself, people donate a pound here and there to help children who rely on that money to help them live as healthy, happy and secure a life as possible.

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So in the run up to Christmas which is supposed to be the season to be jolly why don't we all take a moment to smile at someone rather than bow our head, to say thank you to the check out girl who looks totally harassed and to offer our seat on the bus to someone who really does need it more.

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Because perhaps, if we lead by example our children will grow up and do the same.

No Title as yet..........

It's hard being this optimistic all the time so I hope you'll forgive me when I say I feel like poo today. Only because I have been at my old house cleaning and sorting and seeing all the rooms naked (the rooms not me, that would just be odd) has made me feel a little sad for the girl I was when we moved in there as a family of three. Not enough to make me cry, although the tears do keep threatening but enough to make me feel nostalgic, the girl back then was hopeful, naive and oblivious to a lot. Somehow though I know I was less self sufficient, less independant and less everything (except heavy, I am definitely less heavy now) I also have a small sense of longing for those feelings.

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I truly felt that things would work out. They didn't and I can't help but want to go back, not to change what happened as such but to tell the girl I was a year and a half ago that she should spend less time pretending to be happy because the illusion would shatter her heart.

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Ah well, the keys go back this weekend and perhaps closing that door on my past will open a new one for the future and maybe I'll meet a girl who doesn't hide behind a false smile, who laughs because it's funny and who loves just because. Maybe that girl will be me, just a little bit.

All Change

I haven't written lately. I've been busy. The world as I know it has changed, for the better but I am wordless because I have no idea where to start and how to not bore you with the details.

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I have moved me and my little man in with my mum and sister and though I thought it would be really hard I think its turning out to be one of the best decisions but there will be bumps, so watch this space for any possible rants.

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I am working, it was so nice getting my first wage in 8 months in my bank account. I cannot begin to explain how liberating that felt. It's not a career, just a little office job, but its mine and I love it.

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I have got to get used to having less privacy and more noise but all in all life is fine.

Arrrrrrggggg

Why don't I do things the way normal people do!!! Why do I always do everything at once!! No I'm not just moving house soon, I am moving house getting a divorce, embarking (possibly) on a new romance and starting a new job. I don't do things by half me!!!

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It was the same a few years ago, I bought a house, got married, lost my job and had a baby within about 18 months! Like I said I don't do things by half!!!

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Right now I am using this wonderful little blog as a way to not fill the hole I accidentally made in little mans room and as a way to not pack any more boxes and to not clean out anymore cupboards. Basically I am procrastinating, yes yes I know..........get on with it.

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Cheerio!!!!!

Busy Busy Bee

So hello there, just thought I'd check in, I felt I should write a post but to be honest I've not a great deal of ideas as to what to write.

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You know I hate that saying 'to be honest' and I hate all the other variations of it really such as 'in truth' or 'in all honesty' I mean really.....whenever I hear it or even when I say it (which I do) it makes me wonder if it means what the person normally says should be considered as untruthful or less than honest?? Clearly if you're pointing out the fact that this particular bit of information that you've decided to share is true (which should be a given) then what does that say about everything else you say? That its not necessarily quite as true??? Personally I'd prefer it if, whenever anyone was lying or being less than honest they would start or finish their sentence with something along the lines of 'in all dishonesty'. Wouldn't that make life a little easier?

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So I have a job now by the way, my house is nearly totally packed although I don't actually know where I'm moving to or when but there's nothing wrong with being organised is there.

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Anyway I must dash boxes to pack, house to clean and child to rear (and all that jazz)!